My Spanish Amigo
Posted on April 27, 2008 with 28 Comments
I’m in Madrid at an Internet cafe that will that will not allow me to upload photos, and because I feel that photos are an integral part of my journey thus far, I’ve decided that today I will tell you a photo-less story about my rather interesting time with a Spanish guy I met through Couchsurfing. I’ll save the other stories for other computers!
I arrived in Madrid on Thursday evening just after 8 pm. I had made arrangements about a month ago to stay with a local guy named Angel (pronounced Ann-hell, a fact that I find amusing because hell is sort of the opposite of angels). I was supposed to stay with him for five days. Unfortunately, his sister unexpectedly needed to stay at his apartment for part of that time, so I couldn’t stay there the first night. But Angel made me a reservation at a hostel, picked me up from the metro (subway) station, took me out for tapas and then dropped me off at the hostel.
In between meeting me and dropping me off at the hostel, we managed to flirt up a storm at the tapas bar and he kissed me in the car on the way to the hostel. I also find THIS amusing, because my love life in North America is a train wreck, but give me 2 hours in Europe and I can fix it right up! First guy I meet. Who’d a thunk it?
(May I interject at this point to express my extraordinary dislike of foreign computer keyboards? All you rearranged symbol keys, how I hate thee, let me count the ways… once for the missing question mark, twice for the double-Alt I must press down to get the @ symbol, three times for the magical Ñ in the place of the semi-colon. Four times for having to relearn all this when I get to France and they all move around again.)
Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. So Angel kissed me. Angel has left me with many mixed feelings about Spanish men and Madrid in general. (Mum, you may wish to skip the rest of this post! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.)
Friday I checked out of the hostel and went to his place, somewhat excited to see him but also somewhat apprehensive about staying at the house of someone who kissed me the day before, lest he get any funny ideas about what the visit would entail. He collected me from the metro station. I had carried a 30 pound backpack along with a way-too-heavy carry-on sized suitcase and my oversized handbag through the 30 degree heat, heaving them up and down stairs and escalators around the metro system, and I was tired and hot and sweaty and wanted nothing more than a shower and a nap. But did you know that a single kiss in Europe is apparently a free ticket for a guy to do whatever he wants with a woman? I did not know this. I discovered this European belief the moment I walked in the door of his apartment because he practically attacked me with his tongue. I was like, seriously? No. I want a nap and a shower.
So I spent the next two days alternately trying to dodge his somewhat overenthusiastic advances, and being charmed by how sweet he is when he’s not actively trying to charm me. Irony much? The only time I want to kiss him is when he’s not trying to kiss me.
Yesterday, however, I had pretty much had enough. You see, I was quite happy to explore Madrid by myself all day, but presumably because he had a bit of a crush on me and wanted to spend time with me, he insisted on tagging along. This was okay with me, but I did still want to ensure I saw the sights that I was interested in. He said no problem. We planned to hit up the Puerta del Sol, Plaza Mayor, and the Palacio Real (the Royal Palace). After I had all my things together and was ready to go, he told me he hates the metro and wanted to go on his motorbike. I am kind of scared of motorbikes and wanted to take the metro. But he was pretty insistent and I didn’t want to seem like a complete wuss, so while fighting off a minor panic attack, I told him we could try it out just around the block to see if I could handle it. I’m thinking it would have been nice of him to just take the damn metro when he saw that I was terrified, no? On the bright side, I’m no longer afraid of motorbikes. On the downside? Mr. Motorbikes-are-so-much-than-the-metro’s bike broke down three times on the way to downtown Madrid and required us to hop off the bike, walk it out of moving traffic to the sidewalk, get a running start to get it going again, and then I had to hop on the back while it was still moving slowly.
When we got to the Palacio Real, Angel realized that the entrance fee was more than he expected (inevitable, really, since he expected it to be free!?) and decided to take matters into his own hands. Without telling me what he was doing, he skipped the line, strode up to the ticket agent, engaged them in some rapid fire Spanish conversation and a couple minutes later beckoned to a mortified me that I should follow him. All of a sudden we´re walking past all the tourists in line and we´re escorted in and given special pass cards. I’m wondering what is going on here? Did he just get us in for free? Sort of. He got us special limited passes that allow us to tour the grounds but not actually inside the palace.
The whole reason I came was to the tour the inside of the palace.
So, I was a little annoyed with my little Spanish fling at this point. He prevented me from seeing the sights that I came for, over 8 euros! And he made me ride a broken motorbike! For heaven’s sake. He’s just kind of selfish. I think maybe the Spanish men are accustomed to being a little more dominant than the women, and I don’t have much patience for that. But of course he redeemed himself by taking me out to the Chocolateria San Gines last night. Yup that’s right, a chocolate shop. Where you dip fresh churros in thick melted chocolate. So he was back in my good books.
Until today when apparently he heard that his sister was coming back and he had to kick me out again, so now I’m staying with someone else from Couchsurfing and maybe heading to Barcelona tomorrow instead of on Tuesday. Sigh.
Crazy Spaniards.
*UPDATE* See what Angel looks like here.
Yeah, you pegged it. I actually work with two very Spanish men who are dominant like this. Thank heavens I don’t have to report to one of them anymore. And it’s funny because the other one hs been calling me An-hell for the past two years and every time, I give him heck and say “don’t call me ant hill”.
Sounds like your adventures are just getting started. I just watched the Matchmaker yesterday and Cornelius Hackl said he’s not going back to Yonkers until he’s had an adventure, spent all his money, nearly get arrested and kissed a girl. This post reminds of that, and I was wondering if you had a similar list. “I’m not coming back until I’ve…”
Have a great time!
LMAO Angel, when I first saw that this comment was from Angel I first thought that MY Angel, the Spanish fling guy, had somehow miraculously found my blog and read the post. Nearly gave me a heart attack. Hehe!
Nope I don’t have a to-do list in Europe exactly, except for eating pain au chocolat and cafe au lait at a cafe in Paris, and eating pizza in Naples…
Hey Laura .. wouldnt mind doing a newspaper article for 24hrs on you and your “couchsurfing”
hit me buzzbishopATgmailDOTcom
OMG, Spanish men! Please tell me he at least didn’t have a mullet and/or bad teeth. Because I saw a LOT of that when I was in Spain.
And the keyboards? Yeah, those totally suck. Wherever you go. I wrote a lot of typo-filled emails filled with typo-filled explanations of how the keyboard sucked.
I’m so glad you had churros dipped in chocolate! It’s sooooo good! Spanish chocolaterias are the very best.
I can’t wait to hear about your time in Barcelona. I hope you love every minute!
LOL, that’s hilarious! Frustrating for you…but hilarious for us.
Yeah, even the Mexican men are like that, only in my experience, they’re not as sexually forward, just REALLY flirty.
At least you had a decent experience? Was that the first CouchSurfing-member stay of yours?
Woot! I’m excited about the possibility of a newspaper article. Will let y’all know if they want to use something I write.
Audrey – yes to the bad teeth, though they weren’t THAT bad and I didn’t notice till 2 days after I met him. No to the mullet. I could not possibly abide a mullet. The fashion in Madrid is funny, I noticed the mullets and many other crazy things too.
Ley – yup that was my first Couchsurfing experience! It was okay. Kind of funny looking back on it but a little stressful at the time. The guy I stayed with last night was really nice, so I am not scared off Couchsurfing!
Be really careful babe..
Because they’re WAY more forward and aggressive in Europe, because the women want to be chased or they’re used to it
but the dating customs are sooo different…. guys there (italian ones especially) will hit on anyone who walks and suffice it to say, they may be just after one night…
so, have fun, but be cautious!!!!!!!
FB – yes I think you’re right! I think being celibate for the rest of the trip may possibly be a fantastic idea. Or at least in Italy. Hehe.
Holy sh*t Laura! This is the best stuff I have ever read! I love it you lucky thing you! You are living a fabulous chick novel!
Look at all the attention you are getting from the guys and people wanting to do an article on you!
I am so proud of you.
Love ya,
Teen xoxo
OMG, hilarious!!
The keyboards in France were the bane of my existence when I studied abroad.
*Heart fluttering* My first husband was spanish…I love the agressive raw passion they have no qualms about displaying.
They do come on a little strong though, especially for our culture.
A little fling never hurt anyone though
Be careful, but also be free! You have one chance at this so enjoy it.
We are all living vicariously through you!!
Hugs and all the best, I can’t wait for pictures… Michelle
*sigh…yes, I am living a fab trip in Europe through you! I just imagined myself cruising through Spain on a motor bike driven by a handsome man…until I read the part about the teeth! LOL…LOVED reading this post by the way
OMG Laura…be careful. I cannot believe this Angel character. I know you, so I am not worried that you won’t be able to take of yourself. When you get to Italy, let me know and I can give you some pointers. Can’t wait to read more.
Hey girl. We don't know each other, but in case you were not yet aware, your blog post is the topic of some discussion in the Ambassador's Public Group on CouchSurfing.
http://www.couchsurfing.com/group_read.html?gid=2125&post=1273757
I'm writing you because I think you have a lot to learn. Actually, that is what travel and using CouchSurfing should be all about: LEARNING.
So, to that extent, I hope you will gain something from your experiences.
To an experienced, full-time nomadic CouchSurfer, however, your blog post came across as extremely naïve and self-indulgent. I just wanted to remind you that you might not wish to judge all Spanish men (or all Europeans!) by the actions of one single encounter. Furthermore, there really is no one "European culture" or "Canadian culture" or "American culture" since the advent of internet. We're all going hybrid, baby! We're mixing it all up, and people are people, everywhere around the world. That's also what CouchSurfing is all about.
As a traveler, I advise you not to hold such strong expectations about people, places, and things. It's better to go without plans, if you really do want to learn and experience new things. People such as myself dread tourists like you. If you came to my city, I would only show you the off-the-beaten-track sights (underground parties, hip tea lounges, free events, festivals, concerts, crazy things), and none of the typical boring dust-collecting monuments that will always be around. Why should you expect your host to waste 8 euros on taking you to a palace which he has probably seen a billion times and is completely bored by? It's not his duty to take you anywhere just because he's hosting you. Don't be so demanding. Most problems can be avoided with simple, clear communication. Don't expect that your host knows what you want, and if it feels like he's too dominant, than assert your own dominance, dammit!
Nonetheless, I would welcome you and invite you into my home to use my things, drink tea with me, and so on. This is also the nature of CouchSurfing: welcoming people even if they are different from you.
Lastly, in the real-world, outside of internet-land, people meet up randomly and kiss and hang out together, all the time. Although CS is not meant to be used as a dating site, its your discretion who you'd like to kiss and who you wouldn't. If you don't want to be tongue-locked with your host, say so, rather than flirting and toying around with him. Just be clear and honest. It's not a big deal. It's also not a big deal to make out with someone.
As a side-note: Like your host, I also hate metros and love riding on the back of motorbikes, especially ones that go really fast! Travel is also about trying new things and overcoming your fears, Laura. In the end, hopefully your brief travel will have changed you for the positive. Stop complaining, suck it up, and learn and grow from it all. You should develop better people and communication skills and you might actually try something new and discover that you love it! Or stay home and watch TV. It's your choice.
Adios,
amylin
http://www.couchsurfing.com/amylin
Wow, Amylin, did you ever miss the point of this post and a lot of information about me.
I”m going to disagree with one of the commenters here.
Despite the advent of the Internet, there is STILL very much an “American”culture”, “European culture”, “Asian culture”.
I don’t believe Laura was naive. Perhaps she’s “guilty” of being “nice” rather than “American” and insisting that there is ONLY ONE way to do things, and that would be HER way – (though I think you’re Canadian Laura….)
I’ve lived in Madrid for 5 years, and An-hell is typical for a young Spaniard. Unfortunately, it’s typical of many young men who don’t know how to listen.
Rather like how you don’t know how to read…..
Certainly, in Europe…we kiss even twice on the cheeks instead of shaking hands – which by the way – is considered unhygenic in Japan…and we might even flirt.
But you seem to be accusing or stating that Laura shouldn’t have flirted with him in the first place….and in so doing, brought this on herself. Tell me, are you the type of person who says that the girl wearing the short miniskirt brings on whatever consequences that entails…? even if she said No?
And please….leave off the pompous “stay at home and watch TV” bit….
I think you also missed the point of my post, but I’d rather agree to disagree than argue. Travel is about learning, and I wanted to raise that point. I travel in different ways (by hitchhiking, staying with random strangers, no plans, visiting small towns instead of big cities, no clocks, no phones), so neither side really understands the other… and that’s ok, too.
Amalijaline
I think you should read all her posts about travel and not just the one in which Laura talked about her experience with Angel.
She writes of trying many different foods – for example – that she’s never had, never thought she’d like – that’s important – she didn’t decide she would not eat or drink something because she knew she didn’t like it.
Basically, her post about Angel was her way of dealing with a traumatic event. She didn’t go into as much detail. She made light of it, using her tongue in cheek tone that she uses for this blog.
I found your comment to her post condensending. Without reading about all her experiences on her trip, you focused on this one experience and your comment was patronising and really, stereotypical.
however, this is her blog. My point in responding to your comment was to note some of the fallacies. But as you write, yes, let’s agree to disagree.
Amylin – I’m shocked that you’re still reading my “self-indulgent, rambling, ridiculous blog,” for someone who considers it such a waste of time.
I’ve already dealt with this with you over email, but I dislike the way you’re dodging responsibility for your comment by playing the smarter-than-thou card again, and now towards one of my readers. I agree that travel can be about learning, and I did plenty of that on my trip, but has it occurred to you that other people can have other reasons and ways for doing things than you, and that those reasons and methods can be just as valid as yours? If you want to know what this trip was about for me, read my most recent post on the blog. And if you plan on leaving any more comments on my blog, drop your condescending tone.
Leilani – thanks for the support, by the way, and you definitely got where I was coming from.
You’re welcome Laura. She doesn’t bother me. I’ve lived in 8 countries and traveled to 36 and I’m not yet 39…..
You meet…all kinds whether in the “real world” or on the internet.
Have enjoyed reading your blog.
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