In which Murphy’s Law collides with a first world problem

Posted on July 24, 2009 with 7 Comments

I bought my car when I was 22 years old. It was the first car I ever bought, and the stupidest financial mistake I’ve ever made. I had a budget of $10k, bought it for $14k, had no downpayment, financed the entire cost of the car and ended up paying nearly $20k for after all the interest that went to the bank. Why? “Oh I know it’s over my budget, but it’s so cute! And I like it!” See also: Emotional Purchase Decisions.

A lot of paperwork later, I came to my senses, but it was too late. So I resolved to keep that car as long as I could stand it, until long after it was paid off. So the Echo and I, we’ve been partners for seven long years. And despite our rocky beginnings, she’s been a great little car. She’s been with me through four boyfriends, five addresses, six major road trips, a lot of road rage, a few heartbreaks, and too many impromptu solo karaoke parties on the road to count.

However, she’s now approaching her teenage years. Well, ‘tween years if we’re being technical – maybe she’s an early bloomer? Regardless, she’s getting a little bitchy and temperamental in her old age. First she started dressing trashy – I mean what is WITH that rust on the driver’s side door?! Then she got rebellious and started disobeying commands… she only responds to my foot on the accelerator if she feels like it, otherwise, no dice. I mean sure, if I get testy and pump the gas quickly with my foot, then she has no choice but to listen, but it’s with obvious reluctance that she acquiesces.

Most recently, she’s become a bit of a hypochondriac and it’s really beginning to chap my ass. No matter how many times I’ve taken her to the car doctor every time the Check Engine light comes on complaining she’s sick, he always says she’s fine. But inevitably, she’ll come around with the same complaint after a few weeks, no matter how many different treatments we try for the problem!

But it’s the procrastination that’s pushed me over the edge, and I’m starting to think about breaking up with her now. It seems that she really *is* sick with something, and it does have to do with the Check Engine light, but she had to go and wait until she was due for AirCare to *really* kick up a fuss. I’ve done my best to take care of the poor girl – she’s been in and out of the shop all week, but no matter how many times the car doctor treats the problem and declares her cured, she just has to cause another flare-up within hours of the last one. Hours! She used to at least give me a few weeks off between bouts.

Her insurance expires on Tuesday and she has to go in for AirCare prior to renewing the insurance. If the Check Engine light is on when I take her in, it’s an automatic fail. The light would act up now, just as I need it to stay off the absolute most. So it’s my fervent prayer that she’ll cooperate with me just long enough to pass the test. Then I’ll have two years till the next AirCare is due – two years to dump the bitch and find a younger, prettier replacement model. What can I say, I’m shallow. Echo’s baggage can be someone else’s problem.